“Dad was a true soldiers’ officer who always looked out for others. He was a legend who is deeply missed and I’d like his memory to be recognised.”
Sarah-Jane Graham recently donated to the Army Benevolent Fund (ABF) in loving memory of her father, Major James Graham.
“Dad served in the Army his entire life,” Sarah-Jane explained. “He and Mum fostered Army children, and throughout their lives they gave a lot of money to the causes that mattered to them. So I know Dad would be very happy with an in-memory donation to the ABF – as he was hugely involved with Army Charities.”
Major James Graham was an army child, whose mother was evacuated from London to Wales during World War Two.
“His own father was away, fighting in the war as an RSM in the King’s Regiment,” said Sarah-Jane. “I remember Dad telling me there was a bomb shelter in the family living room. He and his twin brother John would do drills as small children.”
Both James and John chose to follow in their father’s footsteps and join the Army, enrolling at Sandhurst together at the age of 19. “So, basically there were two Lieutenant J. Grahams at Sandhurst,” said Sarah-Jane. “As such there were a lot of hijinks, when they would swap places with nobody realising!”
James was awarded his pilot’s licence and later chose to join the Royal Military Police. “Dad also had to do some time in another regiment to gain experience, so he chose the Parachute Regiment,” said Sarah-Jane. “But he failed the training because he went back to help one of the soldiers who was lagging behind, which you weren’t supposed to do.”
Luckily, James was offered another chance to take his training – something that was normally unheard of. This time, he passed with flying colours.
“The Parachute Regiment actually wanted to keep him after his three years were up,” explained Sarah-Jane. “After Dad died, some people shared their memories of him from that time, and they were incredible. He was involved in the Benghazi riots, and someone remembered him emerging from the desert there one day: dazed, dishevelled, and caked in sand. He could hardly walk, but just 20 minutes later he was showered and smart, all ready to go again. This chap said he couldn’t believe how Dad was able to do that.”
“Dad always led from the front, but he also led with kindness. He made a lasting impression by doing the right and decent thing.”
“He once led a troop of cadets up Mount Snowdon, and at lunchtime he noticed that they’d been throwing their litter in the bushes behind them,” said Sarah-Jane. “He stopped and told them to pick it all up, and for each piece of litter they also had to do some press-ups! One of those cadets later told me he’d never forgotten that lesson – and since he retired, he’s become a volunteer litter-picker in his home town.
“My Dad did so much good during his time in the Army. He travelled the world, he brought people together, and he always took care of his soldiers.”
“He saw things that deeply affected him, but he never brought any of it home,” said Sarah-Jane. “I had a wonderful, fun-filled childhood with him and Mum, who sadly died at the young age of 54. Because they fostered Army children through Army Welfare, there were plenty of additional family members as I grew up. Mum and Dad would sometimes counsel their parents, too – almost adopting them into our family with the children.”
“I think Dad suffered from PTSD during the last years of his life, and it’s such a shame that although he counselled his soldiers, he didn’t receive that kind of help himself,” said Sarah-Jane. “Back then, you were expected to just get on with things. But I believe the reason he and Mum were so heavily involved with the army charities is because they understood that soldiers and their families need support. A lot of them struggle.”
“I donated to the ABF in Dad’s name because it’s a charity that offers amazing support to the Army family. More recognition is needed for that – just as Dad should be recognised for the amazing work he did himself.”
“Dad would be absolutely delighted to know that his tribute might garner some more support for the ABF,” said Sarah-Jane. “I know that if he could, he’d thank every supporter personally for helping soldiers and their families who are in need.”
Donating in a loved one’s name is a special way to honour their life. MuchLoved is a simple-to-use Tribute website service that helps people create free, personalised memorials for their loved ones. For further INFORMATION contact Emma Hamilton [email protected]